


All for One

by SingingFlames



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:50:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1256842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingFlames/pseuds/SingingFlames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of loosely connected humorous one-shot stories about the Command Trine, Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Much?

**Author's Note:**

> Pairings: None  
> Rating: G  
> Warnings: None  
> Author's Note: This was my first attempt at a humorous Decepticon story. They have since become my staple. Time unit conversion – Nano-klik: ~ 1 second; Deca-cycle: ~ 3 weeks

“Slaggit! This is ridiculous!” Skywarp ranted. “This is not our responsibility. It's … it's demeaning!”

Forty-three, Thundercracker silently counted to himself. Forty-three outbursts. His trine brother had been complaining, loudly, since Megatron had assigned them to this cursed duty. Not that he blamed his wingmate. For unknown reasons, the trine had been assigned construction duty. Of all things, construction duty. They were hauling large metal beams over a mountain range. The slagging things were so heavy that the three of them – Starscream, Skywarp and himself – had to use harnesses on them and slowly fly them over the mountains. At this pace, they couldn't even use their altmodes. 

“Using our superior skills for this! It's insulting!” Skywarp continued.

“Shut. Up. Sky. Warp.” Starscream bit out each syllable.

That made thirty-nine 'shut ups' from Starscream, by Thundercracker's count. The other four times he himself had tired of his wingmate's grousing first. He began timing how long until Skywarp's next outburst. The intervals between each one were becoming gradually shorter. Soon, he believed he could accurately estimate when the next outburst would occur. If nothing else, the extra computations gave him something to do during this infernal duty.

“Surely you can see how absurd this is!”

Forty-four. And several nano-kliks sooner than Thundercracker anticipated. He filtered the new time into his internal equation.

“The best trine in the Decepticon army, and we're forced to do … Constructicon work?” Skywarp released one hand off the harness, waving at the beam they carried. The other two cried out in protest as it began wobbling. “Why us? If he needed fliers, why not some drones? Or the Coneheads? What idiocy possessed Megatron to do this to us?”

“Just let it go. And grab that harness before it falls!” Starscream hissed at Skywarp.

Thundercracker contemplated whether or not to add this to Starscream's 'shut up' count. 'Let it go,' was probably the mildest order the Air Commander had ever used for silence, but the intent was the same. It would be interesting if the tamer command effected the duration until Skywarp's next tantrum. Intrigued by the new variable, Thundercracker began cross-referencing the inflection of Starscream's commands compared to the time decrease between Skywarp's outbursts. Perhaps stronger inflections caused a smaller time decrease? The hypothesis was worth investigation.

While he compiled numbers, he also considered the irony of Starscream refusing to engage in a discussion of Megatron's faults. Their trine leader usually pounced at the chance to ridicule the other mech. It was almost unheard of for him to miss an opportunity. In fact, it was unheard of … 

Thundercracker halted, forcing the other two to do the same or risk unbalancing the beam. They squawked at the abrupt stop. Ignoring their protests, he turned to Starscream.

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?” Starscream replied, too quickly.

“We 'mysteriously' pull the most humiliating shift imaginable for Seekers, and yet it's Skywarp – not you, _not you!_ – who's complaining about Megatron. When have you ever not carried on about our glorious leader? Yet Skywarp brings it up, and you tell him to, 'let it go.' _What did you do?_ ”

Skywarp turned shocked eyes to the Air Commander. “Screamer?”

“Don't call me that! And I didn't do anything,” Starscream glanced away, “… much.”

“What!”

“Much?” Thundercracker replied at the same moment. “What didn't you do 'much' of?”

Starscream attempted to shrug, but the metal beam's immense weight made the motion impossible while airborn. Instead, he twitched his wings. “It was just a small clerical error. Keep moving. This is heavy.”

“Actually, I feel like putting it down. 'Warp, that sound good to you?”

“Down sounds real good to me,” Skywarp replied. Suiting actions to words, he dropped altitude without warning. The others scrambled to match his decent, trying to keep the beam from toppling from their grip. They dropped it unceremoniously into a shallow stream bed. 

“Amazing,” Starscream said, once they stood on solid ground. He considering his trine. “I didn't realize we'd joined the Autobots, becoming a democracy, taking votes. All that tripe.”

“No, not Autobots,” Thundercracker snorted. “We're Decepticons. With that comes the responsibility to question our leaders, confirm that they deserve our loyalty. Is that not what you always say?”

“Cute.” Starscream's optics narrowed.

“So.” Thundercracker crossed his arms. “'Clerical error?'”

“Yeah, what does that even mean?” Skywarp asked.

Starscream threw his arms up in disgust. “It was nothing. Remember when the Aerialbots attacked our supply depot, three deca-cycles ago? Several munitions crates were destroyed. I assisted in the clean up. A few crates of explosives were mistakenly reported as destroyed. Some Constructicons discovered them recently, undamaged.”

Skywarp glanced at Thundercracker, then back at the Air Commander. He shrugged. “That's it? Finding extra weapons is usually a good thing. That's glitched.”

“Precisely my point. It was nothing.”

Thundercracker had plenty of experience listening to Starscream's narratives and, more important, listening to what was not said. He raised an optic ridge. “Where _exactly_ did they find these explosives?”

Starscream awarded him with an annoyed glance. “Is that important?”

“Yes. Even more so now, since you don't want to answer.”

Skywarp's shoulders slumped as he considered his trine leader. “Screamer, you didn't …” 

“Do not call me that!” Starscream growled. Glancing between the two other Seekers, he shook his head. Surrendering, he listed off the coordinates where the crates had been found. Coordinates that were not only no where near the supply depot, but actually on the far side of their base from it.

“You must not have hid them very well, huh?” Skywarp asked, shaking his head.

“They were hidden. They were in a cave. I collapsed the slagging entrance. There was no way to see them, or the cave.”

“But … ?” Thundercracker prompted.

“I don't know. Maybe someone else saw me over there. For whatever reason, our glorious leader sent the Constructicons to the area. 'For raw materials,' I believe the excuse was. It took them a few deca-cycles, but they found the crates.”

“Did you ever consider, y'know, moving them once you realized they were digging over there?” Skywarp asked.

“I don't credit the Constructicons with an access of mental prowess, but they might have noticed me flying in empty-handed, and flying away loaded down with crates. Especially if Megatron sent them there to investigate me.”

Thundercracker shook his head. Starscream stockpiling explosives didn't surprise him. When it came to ways to overthrow Megatron, his trine leader was always exploring new and creative options. It took more than a few crates of munitions to surprise him anymore. Although he had to ask, “How many other stashes do you have, that Megatron doesn't know about?”

“I'm shocked, Thundercracker,” Starscream replied, sounding anything but. He didn't even attempt to hide his smirk. “Concealing weapons and explosives would be deceitful and traitorous. A loyal Decepticon would, of course, turn all munitions he obtained into base, where they would strengthen our cause. Suggesting I would do otherwise insults my,” Starscream waved a hand idly, considering, “my … integrity. My honor. I am upset you even consider me capable of such duplicity.”

The three Seekers glanced between each other. Then Skywarp burst into laughter. Even Thundercracker couldn't hold a straight face. With a wicked grin, Starscream pretended to buff a scuff from his arm. 

“That's hilarious,” Skywarp said. “Seriously, though, if you'd hid that slag better, Megatron wouldn't have found it.”

“Please,” Starscream scoffed, “do you know how long I've been able to hide weapons from him?”

“Apparently, three deca-cycles,” Thundercracker raised an optic ridge. “After all, to suggest otherwise would insult your integrity and honor.”

“Yes, of course,” Starscream said, innocently, “three deca-cycles.”

Thundercracker rubbed his temples. He was developing a processor ache: a common side effect when dealing with too much of Starscream's rationalizations. “Fine. Whatever. This still doesn't explain how 'Warp and I got dragged into,” he gestured at the neglected beam, “this.”

“Oh. _That_.” Starscream looked away.

“Yes, _that_.” Thundercracker crossed his arms.

“I'm sure interested in _that_ too,” Skywarp chimed in.

Starscream shrugged. “Megatron was unimpressed with me having the explosives – ” 

“Imagine that,” Skywarp interrupted, glancing at Thundercracker.

“ – and informed me that if I enjoyed playing in the dirt, he could find something 'suitable' for me to do. Then he assigned me to move these.” Starscream kicked the metal beam.

“Assigned you. Not us. You. At what point did we get volunteered for this?” Thundercracker asked.

“I pointed out a flaw in Megatron's logic.” The Air Commander shrugged again.

“Wait,” Thundercracker raised a hand, stalling him. “Let me guess. You informed him that these are far too heavy for one Seeker to carry?”

“Basically, yes.”

“Thanks, Screamer. Really, I mean that.” Skywarp muttered.

“Stop calling me that!”

“What, exactly, did you think he'd do once you pointed that out?” Thundercracker asked, rubbing his temples. Yes, he was definitely developing a processor ache.

“I thought he'd give me something, anything, else to do. I didn't want to haul these things around. Would you?”

“Funny you should ask,” Thundercracker replied, “because, no, really I don't want to.”

“Why didn't Megs just beat the slag outta you? That's what he usually does.” Skywarp didn't pretend to sound concerned about his Air Commander's physical well-being.

“Yeah, well, he did that too,” Starscream grumbled.

Thundercracker considered his trine leader, arms crossed. “I suppose I should thank you. After all, if I weren't here, doing this wonderful chore because of you, I would be probably be doing something even more tedious: like attacking Aerialbots, or fighting Autobots, perhaps blowing something up. You know, boring stuff like that.” He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “But now, I have the exciting opportunity to explore a new career as a Constructicon. Thank you, Starscream.”

“Shut up,” Starscream said, but without any vehemence. “Are you two done complaining? We still have to get these slagging things moved.”

The two wingmates exchanged glances. “Why should we help you? This is your punishment.”

“Because if you don't, I'm won't finish this. And when Megatron comes asking why we're not done, he won't just come after me. You'll share any punishment I get. So, by all means, do nothing. Enjoy Megatron's wrath. I know he will.” Starscream leaned against a boulder, crossing his arms.

“I hate you,” Skywarp muttered. 

“C'mon, 'Warp. Let's get this slagging thing moved.” Thundercracker motioned to his trine brother, shaking his head. Turning back to the Air Commander, he asked, “One more thing, is there anything else you're up to that's going to come back and bite us in our collective afts?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Starscream replied, hand over his spark. “I'm the picture of innocence.” 

“Great,” Skywarp growled. “We're dead.”


	2. Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: None  
> Rating: G  
> Warnings: None  
> Author's Note: This is technically the second chapter of my All for One story line, but it's completely standalone and can be read without reading the first chapter. The main premise for these ficlets is one group member getting the entire group punished for something he's done; a new take on the phrase 'all for one.' Comm transmissions are marked with colons – ::like this.::

“Hide!”

“Hid – ? Wha – ? Why? And, slag it Skywarp, I have a door!” Thundercracker growled at his trine mate. The black and purple mech had just materialized in the middle of his quarters, ignoring, as always, such common place courtesies as doors and knocking. Thundercracker leaned back in his berth, turning back to his datapad, and tried to tune out his fellow Seeker.

“I know you have a door! Who cares? We gotta go! Find someplace safe – ” Skywarp wrung his hands, eyes darting between his wing mate and the closed door.

“I care,” Thundercracker interrupted. His voice remained calm, in stark contrast to Skywarp's. “I've told you before not to teleport into my room. Or, at least to ask first. Use the door.”

“Will you forget the slaggin' door! We gotta hide. _Now!_ ”

“What did you do?”

“ … Um, nothing?”

Thundercracker covered his optics with one hand. “Really. 'Nothing?' Then why do we need to hide?”

“Well … ” Skywarp dragged the word out, “okay, maybe 'nothing' isn't quite the right word. See, the thing is, it was a complete accident.”

“Amazingly, that doesn't surprise me at all. What was – ” 

“Quiet!” Skywarp hissed. He pressed an audio receptor against the door. “He's coming! Let's go!” He dashed over to Thundercracker – ignoring the other's frantic attempt to gesture him away – and grabbed his arm. In a flash of purple light, they vanished.

Thundercracker cried out as he suddenly dropped. Skywarp had teleported him in the same relative height and position – reclining at about waist height – but he arrived with nothing under him. The resounding crash filled the small chamber as he fell on his aft. He glared at Skywarp and pulled himself back to his feet. “You're dead. I'm going to kill you.”

“I just saved your life!”

“What are you talking about?! Will you please tell me what is going on? And why am I hiding in … where am I?” Thundercracker gazed around the crate-filled room. Obviously, a storeroom of some kind, but not one he recognized.

“Lower level storage. I come here sometimes when I need to be … somewhere else.” Skywarp shrugged.

“And that's, what, every other day or so?” 

“Funny.” Skywarp crossed his arms, glaring.

Thundercracker matched both his stance and glare. “Now, tell me what's going on? Why do you think you 'saved my life?' And,” he held up a hand, stalling his wing mate, “don't tell me about accidents or whatever.”

Skywarp rubbed his chin, thinking. He threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine, sure, whatever. Oh, um, you might want to disengage your comm link. Just in case.”

“Just in case of what? Oh, never mind.” Shaking his head, Thundercracker shut off his main comm, more to humor his wing mate than anything else. “Now talk.”

“Well, the Constructicons always give me a lot of slag – ”

“And we all know you've never done anything to deserve that,” Thundercracker interrupted, his vocals filled with sarcasm.

“Exactly. Anyway, recently they've started comparing my flight skills to that of a chicken, and making these weird monosyllabic noises at me: sounds like, 'bok, bok, bok,' over and over again. I'm sick of it!”

“'Warp, do you even know what a chicken is?”

“Of course I do,” the purple and black mech scoffed.

“You do?”

“Yes.” Skywarp nodded. Then shrugged. “It's a local bird. I think.”

“It's this planet's fastest, most lethal, avian creature. That 'bok' noise? That's it's war cry. It screams that right as it dives in for the kill.”

“Really?”

“No.”

Skywarp glared at his trine brother for a moment. “I hate you.”

“Right now the feeling's mutual. So. You were upset because they compared you to a bird which you didn't even know was flightless – ”

“Flightless?!”

“Shut up. You didn't know that. But you were still upset anyway, just because you're you. What then?”

Skywarp grumbled to himself, muttering vague comments about 'flightless' and 'showing them.' Thundercracker cleared his throat, a habit picked up from the local sentient lifeforms. Glaring at him, his trine mate scowled. “Well, I was tired of them and their snide remarks, so I decided to show them who was really the chicken. So, I ransacked a human supply place, y'know where they go to trade stuff, and stole a bunch of their head cushions.”

“What? Head cushions? You mean 'pillows.' What do pillows have to do with chickens and Constructicons?” Thundercracker asked, staring at his wing mate with morbid curiosity. 

“Feathers, of course.”

Thundercracker rubbed a hand over his face. “Feathers. Right. Obviously.”

“Thing is, most of the pillows didn't have feathers, just white fluff. I got some feathers, but mostly fluff. I figured that was close enough. So, then I broke into Hook's lab, and nabbed a couple barrels of his industrial adhesive.”

Thundercracker slowly lowered his hand, optics widening. 

“The glue barrels were big, and so was the crate with the feathers and fluff. I couldn't hold all that. So – actually, I'm kinda proud of this – I set up a sensor and a contraption to open the barrels when I hit a button. When the sensor trips, I hit the button, the glue falls and – splat! – the mech's covered in it. Then all I have to do is teleport in with the feathers – ”

“'Warp … you didn't … please, tell me you didn't … ” 

“Well, I could say I didn't. I'd be lying, though.”

“You glued feathers on the Constructicons?” Thundercracker covered his optics with a hand.

“Um.”

Thundercracker peeked at the other Seeker through his fingers. “You didn't glue feathers on anyone?”

“Um.”

“ _What?_ ”

“It should have been Scrapper and Mixmaster. I saw them head that way. It should have been them.” Skywarp held his hands up in surrender.

“Are you telling me you didn't even look before dropping two barrels of glue and then feathers on someone?” Thundercracker's hand clenched as he restrained himself from throttling the purple Seeker.

“Well, I couldn't put them somewhere the cameras would see, now could I? I was watching the Constructicons on the cameras. They were headed the right way. And then the sensor went off. I had to be fast or the glue would miss them. So I hit the button and warped in, throwing the feathers. It, uh, wasn't the Constructicons.” Skywarp muttered the last words.

“Who, 'Warp? Who was it?”

“ … Shockwave.”

“You … you glued … feathers … on _Shockwave?_ ” Thundercracker vocals could barely produce the words. “You're dead.”

“Um, we're dead, actually.”

“No. There's no 'we' here. 'We' didn't do this. You did. You're dead.”

“Well, actually, it's kinda humorous … ”

“Nothing you can say right now could be humorous.”

“When I realized who it was, it occurred to me that if Shockwave was mad at one mech, then maybe he'd only be half as mad if there were two of us to be mad at. So, uh, I may have yelled your name before I warped out of there.”

“Brilliant.” Thundercracker glared at his trine mate. If he killed the purple mech, could he still convince Shockwave that he was innocent? Or maybe just pummel him within an inch of his life, then turn him over to the one-eyed Decepticon as a peace offering?

::Starscream to Thundercracker.::

Thundercracker stiffened in surprise. He had disconnected his main comm – at the idiot's request – but the Seeker's had devised their own, private channel. Starscream was utilizing that channel now.

::Thundercracker here.::

::Tell Skywarp to turn his comm on.::

::Copy.:: Aloud, he said, “Starscream says turn your comm on.”

“I can't. I took the components out. Tell him sorry.” Skywarp shrugged.

::The idiot says he broke his comm.::

::Remind him that I know all his hiding spots and I know a certain mech who wishes to find him.::

::With pleasure.:: Smirking, Thundercracker relayed the Air Commander's threat.

“Slag it.” Skywarp glared unseeingly around him. He shook his head. ::Hi, Starscream.::

::Now that I have both of you, will someone please explain to me why I'm currently listening to Shockwave explain – in agonizingly long, painful detail – how pranks are 'illogical,' 'serve no meaningful purpose,' and are 'potentially destructive.' He won't shut up. I had to turn down my comm. I'm actually hoping Megatron comms in, so I can tell Shockwave to shut up. Consider that. He's annoying me enough, I'd rather talk to _Megatron_. He's also mentioned both of you. Repeatedly.::

::Why would he bug you?::

::You're an idiot, Skywarp. Until Megatron returns, I'm in command. Any disputes come to me. As Air Commander, any problems concerning the Seekers are brought to my attention. And, as trine leader, I am personally responsible for both of you. Much to my chagrin.:: 

::Ah. Oops.:: Skywarp replied.

::Idiot. What did you two do?::

::Actually, you need ask, 'what did Skywarp do,' because I had nothing to do with it,:: Thundercracker corrected.

::I. Don't. Care.:: Starscream bit out. ::What happened?::

::Well, it was an accident, really. The Constructicons were – ::

Thundercracker interrupted, ::Skywarp glued feathers to Shockwave.:: 

Silence. After several moments, the two Seekers exchanged looks.

::Hey, Screamer? You still there?:: Skywarp asked.

::You glued … feathers … to Shockwave?:: Starscream said with oddly strained vocals.

::Yeah?:: Skywarp dragged the word out, unsure of the other's reaction.

::You know, it occurs to me that, as Second In Command, it's my responsibility to personally assure Shockwave receives complete and proper care.:: Starscream laughed. ::Let's see … He's in the washracks right now.::

::What?:: Skywarp asked.

::I have to see this,:: Starscream translated, still chortling. ::Don't think I'm letting you off, though. Shockwave sure won't.::

* * *

The three Seekers surveyed the glue-soaked hallway. Skywarp carried several wire scrubbing tools, while Thundercracker held two canisters of cleaner. Behind them, Starscream stood arms crossed, optics alternating between the mess and his trine mates.

“This isn't fair,” Skywarp groaned. 

“No, what's not fair is having your wing mate set you up to take the blame for something you didn't do. Then being forced to share his punishment because no one cares,” Thundercracker grumbled, glaring at the black and purple mech.

“You're right,” Starscream replied. “No one cares. Stop your grousing and get it done. And it's more than fair. You made the mess. Well, one of you did. So, you clean it up. You should be thankful. Shockwave wanted to use you for his experiments.” The Air Commander smirked at their horrified looks. “I pointed out how your absence would weaken our aerial forces. It would be 'illogical' to waste your strengths in such a manner.” He spread his arms wide. “You're welcome.”

“Please don't mention anything with the word 'logic' in it.” Skywarp winced. “I can't believe you recorded all that slag he said to you. And made us listen to it. That was torture.”

“How do you think I felt?” Starscream asked. “I had nothing to do with your idiocy, and yet I was subjected to that verbal punishment.”

“I can sympathize with that,” Thundercracker muttered.

“And if I had to experience that, so did you. Now, clean this up. I'm bored.” The Air Commander leaned against the wall.

Skywarp crouched down. Gingerly, he reached out a finger and touched the mess on the floor. “Ick. It's still wet. And sticky.”

“It's the Constructicons' industrial adhesive. That slag doesn't dry until it binds to something. Which is why we're cleaning it up: before random Decepticons start getting stuck trying to walk through here.” Thundercracker shoved a cleaner canister into Skywarp's chest.

“Can you imagine that? It'd be hilarious.” The black and purple Seeker laughed, then quieted suddenly. “Well, unless Megatron got stuck … ”

Starscream burst into laughter. “No, you're right. That would be hilarious.”

“'Warp? Start cleaning before he gets any ideas.” Thundercracker nodded toward their trine leader. He nabbed a scrubbing tool from his wing mate.

“Wait a klik, TC.” Skywarp considered the glue-covered floor. “This stuff is flammable, right? Wouldn't it be much faster just to light our thrusters and light it – ”

“ _No!_ ” both Starscream and Thundercracker yelled in union. Thundercracker continued, “There's a main fuel line under here. It leads straight to the reactor. Please, no fire!”

“I can hide some things from Megatron,” Starscream added, shaking his head, “but trust me, he'd notice if we blew up the _Nemesis_. Not that we'd be around for him to punish. Enough stalling. Clean. Scrub. I don't want be here any longer than necessary.”

“Y'know, Screamer, you don't have to stay.” Skywarp glanced over his shoulder at the Air Commander. “Don't you have important … um, something to do?”

“Don't call me that! And, yes, I do. But the moment I leave, so will you. Even if I lock all the exits, you'll leave. Not only will I have to listen to even more of Thundercracker's complaints, but Shockwave will undoubtedly realize what you did. I refuse to listen to any more of his squawking. Just hurry up.”

The other two Seekers exchanged glances. Thundercracker turned back to his trine leader. “If you're in such a hurry, you could help.”

“I'd rather watch.”

“That's fine.” He regarded his wing mate. “Hey 'Warp, with just you and me doing this, we should finish this just after second shift gets off. We can hit the mess after.” Skywarp stared at him, confused. He explained, “Rumble likes to go there. I was thinking it might be nice to have a chat with him. We could talk about … oh, say, our energy raid a few days ago.”

“Um, TC, that raid was a disaster. Megatron was livid,” Skywarp said.

“You're right. We all got pretty scrapped. Oh, wait. Not all of us. You got out without a dent, didn't you, Starscream? Interesting that. Hmm. Anyway, we should meet up with Rumble. I feel a sudden need to tell someone about this Seeker I saw who was off messing with the energon, when we were all ordered to attack the Autobots. You were next to me the whole time, 'Warp, and none of the other Seekers were there. Except, of course, you Starscream. It's too bad, because if that Seeker had been in the air with us – like he should have been – the raid would have gone differently. I'm sure Megatron would love to know about that.”

“I've told you,” Starscream spoke slow and evenly, “many times, I saw Cliffjumper enter the facility and I pursued him. I was busy fighting him, when our 'great' leader ordered us to attack. I couldn't join you.”

“I'm not questioning you or your story,” Thundercracker said with a shrug. “And I'm not going to tell Megatron anything. I just wanted to ask Rumble's opinion on that unidentified Seeker I saw. I'm sure he won't tell anyone either. After all, he's very discreet.” Skywarp smothered a laugh behind his hand. Fighting a grin, Thundercracker continued, “Besides, who would he tell? Soundwave? It's not as if Soundwave tells Megatron _everything single thing he hears_.”

“Are you blackmailing me?” Starscream asked, optics narrow.

“Of course not. You're my commanding officer. And my trine leader. Blackmailing you would be,” he paused, searching for the proper word, “disrespectful. I'm merely pointing out a likely course of events, assuming this task takes us a long time to complete. Of course, if you were to help us, we would finish too soon to meet with Rumble. In fact, I'll probably forget about the whole raid by the next time I see him. But, either way's good by me.”

“Here's a third option,” Starscream added, raising his null-ray, “I could just shoot you.”

“True,” Thundercracker agreed. He crossed his arms and shrugged. “But do that, and it'll only be Skywarp cleaning this hall. And we both know how long it takes him to do something when he doesn't want to do it. You'll be stuck here for days. And I'll get out of cleaning.”

Starscream considered the blue Seeker, gun still trained on his chest. The fingers on his other hand tapped a measured beat against his leg. After several moments, he cursed quietly and lowered his weapon. He shook his head in disgust. “I hate you.”

Thundercracker stepped sideways, making a space between himself and Skywarp. With a grin, he gestured Starscream over to the empty spot. Glaring at the other two, the Air Commander stalked over and grabbed three scrubbers. He pushed the extra brushes into his subordinates' hands.

Confused, Skywarp said, “We've already got scrubbers … ”

“And you have two hands,” Starscream countered. “If I have to do this, then you get to work twice as hard.”


	3. The Boring One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: None  
> Rating: G  
> Warnings: None  
> Author's Note: Talking through comm channels is shown, ::like this.::

“This has become tedious, Skywarp. Stop boring me with your lies, and tell me what you did!”

“Ha! That's funny coming from you, Starscream, the master of lies! I didn't do anything, and you know it! I'm completely innocent. I refuse to be blamed for whatever you did this time.”

“You are many things: moronic, juvenile, stupid, irresponsible, repugnant.” Starscream counted the words out with his fingers. “The list goes on and on. But no where on that list does the word 'innocent' appear. In fact, 'guilty' is on there. Twice. For emphasis.”

Thundercracker stood to the side, watching his trine mates' argument grow increasingly louder. They were in the _Nemesis'_ docking bay, which currently housed maintenance supplies for their sunken home. In theory, the three Seekers should have been gathering their supplies for the arduous task of sealing the hull against the corrosive sea water. (A slow, processor-numbing task, which involved dragging a specialized applicator across the ship's surface to spread the sealant. The entire process took days. And, as far as Thundercracker could tell, was completely pointless. The _Nemesis_ was crafted with the highest grade materials. No mere salt water could damage it. Yet, whenever Megatron was particularly annoyed with someone – and beating them into spare parts would let them off too easy – he assigned this task to them.) Instead, Starscream and Skywarp took this opportunity to blame each other, loudly, for the trine's current situation. Thundercracker leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching them.

“I'm not 'repugnant!' Is that even a word? I'm not any of those things! You're just pawning your punishment off on us! Like always! We're sick of it!” Skywarp jabbed his finger into his trine leader's chest plate. 

“Remove that finger or I will. Permanently.” Starscream scowled at the other mech, until Skywarp lowered the offending digit. “Your persistence amazes me. What do you hope to gain by pursuing this charade? Just drop it, and tell me what you did!”

Thundercracker glanced at the bay's security camera. They were taking too long. Before long someone would notice they weren't out there working. If they didn't start soon, Megatron might order them to seal the hull twice. He winced at the thought.

“I keep telling you, I didn't do anything! But you know that already! So, you 'drop it' and tell us what you did to tangle Megs wires up so much!”

“You know, as well as I do, that when our 'mighty' leader's mad at me, he usually beats the slag out of me. Assuming he just doesn't shoot me. He hasn't done either. That means that you did something!”

“It was me,” Thundercracker spoke up.

“No, it just means you blamed me for something! You do that all the time!” Skywarp continued, without pause.

“I did it.”

“I wouldn't be able to blame you all the time, if you weren't always doing something wrong!” Starscream yelled.

“Is anyone listening to me?” Thundercracker waved his hand. “It's my fault.”

“Maybe if I had a decent Air Commander, I could do stuff right!” Skywarp countered.

“You can't even walk down a hall without messing something up! Or breaking something, or taking a 'detour.' You're impossible!”

“Hello?” Thundercracker rubbed his chin, thinking. “Unicron's outside with a bouquet of roses. He's preaching galactic peace and wants to buy us a round of high grade.”

“I mess things up? What about you? How many times have you tried to take over the Decepticons, and slagged that up?”

“At least my ambitions run higher than practical jokes and petty pranks!”

“Nothing, huh? Hmm.” Thundercracker nodded. “The sun imploded. It's become a black hole, and it's devouring this system. We have maybe a minute left, then we're all dead.”

“But at least I have fun! All you do is scheme, mess it up, then blame your trine mates! Which reminds me, what did you get us into this time?!” Skywarp glared at the Air Commander.

“Stop already! This is pointless, when we both know I didn't do anything!”

Thundercracker tilted his head, considering. He snapped his fingers, his optics brightening. “Megatron died. But with his dying breath, he named Skywarp his successor.”

“Wait, what?” Starscream held up a hand, silencing Skywarp. The Air Commander turned to Thundercracker. “What did you just say?”

“Figures.” The blue mech threw his hands up in exasperation. “You are so predictable. What I've been trying to say, but you two have been too noisy to hear, is that this,” he gestured around the bay, “is my fault.”

“But what did you _say?_ ” Starscream insisted.

“I lied. Three times in fact. I was trying to get your attention and you wouldn't listen. So I said Megatron died and left Skywarp in command.”

Skywarp burst into laughter. Starscream opened and shut his mouth several times, but no sound came out. He finally shook his head. This set Skywarp into further peels of laughter. Starscream turned to the cackling Seeker. “Shut up!”

Skywarp muffled himself down to intense giggling, but still did not stop. Every time he glanced at his trine leader caused a fresh case of snickering. Thundercracker shook his head. He opened a private comm channel with his fellow Seeker. ::Uh, 'Warp, it wasn't that funny.::

::So, if I'm the new leader, can I make grumpy faces and beat up Screamer every time he opens his mouth?::

“Do not call me that, and no, you certainly may not,” Starscream interrupted aloud, his optics narrowing.

Thundercracker and Skywarp turned to him, shocked. 

“You cheated! That was a private channel! You're not supposed to listen in,” Skywarp pouted.

“You're forgetting who established the Seekers' comm channel, and our private comms.” Starscream shook his head. “As if I'd give you that, and not grant myself complete access to it. I'm the only one who can listen to anything you lot say.” He tilted his head, considering. “Well, probably Soundwave too. I doubt there's any system he can't get into.”

“Wait a klik.” Skywarp held up a finger. “Back up. TC, did you say this was your fault?”

“Yes.” Thundercracker shrugged as his trine turned their attention back to him.

“Did Screamer put you up to this?” Skywarp asked.

“What?” the other two asked in unison. Starscream added, “And stop calling me that!”

“Well, he must have. You never get in trouble, TC. You're the boring one.”

“I'm the _what?_ What do you mean, 'the boring one?' I'm not boring.” Thundercracker turned to Starscream. “Am I boring?”

The Air Commander shrugged.

“It's okay to be boring. Really.” Skywarp nodded, smiling reassuringly. “You're … reliable. Yeah. If we need you, we always know that boring ol' TC's ready. That's a good thing, right?”

Thundercracker glared at the black and purple mech.

“Do you think about what you say, or do you simply vomit out whatever words enter your processor?” Starscream mused.

“Did you know the humans have a condition like that,” Thundercracker muttered. “They call it Tourette's.”

“Why would I know that? Better question: why would I want to know that?” Starscream asked. “Why do you know that?”

“He watches TV,” Skywarp snickered. “Something called the _Discovery Channel_.”

“'Warp! Shut up!” 

“You watch … what?” Starscream asked.

“TV!” Skywarp chortled. “Told you. Boring!”

“I suppose I could be like you,” Thundercracker retorted, glaring, “gluing feathers onto Shockwave – ”

“ – that was an accident – ”

“Doing it to Shockwave was an accident, the glue and feathers _were not_. Or I could mess with the base's comm system, and cause it to crash so horribly that it can only receive one channel: a human radio station.”

“That was you?” Starscream turned on Skywarp, who shrugged.

“It was an acc–”

“It's always an accident!” Thundercracker growled. “But Soundwave couldn't fix your 'accident' for days. We had to listen to that,” he searched for an appropriate word, “that ruckus the humans call 'Country.' I have no idea what a 'Garth Brooks' is, or why humans would want to have a marathon for it, but that was pure agony.”

Starscream winced, rubbing his temple. “I never want to hear about 'Friends in Low Places' again. That noise kept repeating itself in my processor, even after it was silenced. It was like a virus. I had to manually purge my memory banks.”

“Soundwave probably could have fixed it sooner, if Megatron hadn't blasted the main console,” Skywarp muttered. He continued, looking thoughtful, “And I think they were appeasing someone, a dark lord. I heard about them. They were very powerful, and ruled a huge army. They wielded swords made of light, and some of them tossed lightning from their hands. They used something called 'the force.' Sounds stupid, I know, but it's really powerful. And two dark users of the force wiped out all the other ones. They were called Darth something-or-others. Darth Brooks must have been one too, and the humans were worshiping him. Or, at least, sucking up to him.”

Thundercracker regarded his trine mate in disbelief. “'Warp? That's all made up.”

“I did not make it up!” Skywarp crossed his arms. “You're just grumpy that I know something you don't. What's wrong, TC, didn't see that while you watched TV?”

“It certainly wasn't on the _History Channel_ ,” the blue mech muttered.

“Who cares?” Starscream asked. “I, personally, have no interest in human history. Can we return to the issue at hand? Specifically, what could you possibly have done that angered Megatron?”

Thundercracker glared at the Air Commander. “I'm _not boring_.” He glanced between his trine mates. He shook his head, frowning. “I'm not.”

“Oh no, you're the wild one.” Skywarp waved his hand dismissively.

Thundercracker opened his mouth, but Starscream interrupted him, “You're boring. Get used to it. Now, what did you do?”

Scowling, the blue mech said, “After that last loss to the Autobots, Megatron was furious. He told me to get you two, and we were supposed to flatten this human town.” The other Seekers stared at him, not speaking. He shrugged. “It was a pointless, petty attack. No strategic advantage. There was no risk to it. They offered no challenge. Or advantage for succeeding. Not worth our time.” 

“So, what, you just chose to ignore direct orders from Megatron?” Skywarp challenged him. “Not only that, but you also chose not to tell us about those orders. I have no problems blowing humans up, whether or not it's 'worth our time.' You should have said something! What did you think would happen when Megs found out?”

“Honestly, I didn't think Megatron was going to follow up on it.”

“Megatron makes it a habit to ensure all orders are obeyed if I'm involved with them,” Starscream replied dryly. He shrugged. “It's almost as if he doesn't trust me.”

“Ah. Hmm, I should have realized that.”

“You need to follow orders. And tell us when those orders affect us,” the Air Commander growled. 

“I need to follow orders?” Thundercracker said. “Coming from you, that means almost nothing.”

“I'm still mad at you,” Skywarp pointed at the blue mech, “but that's funny. And true.”

“Regardless of any humor inherent in that statement, as your Air Commander, I expect you to follow orders. When I disobey Megatron, I like to know about it.”

“But you didn't disob – wait … ” Skywarp clutched his head in his hands. “No, no, no! Not only did you technically disobey Megs, so did I. Gah! It's not just one of us. We're all being punished. 'Cause we all disobeyed orders. Doesn't matter that our boring brother decided not to relay those orders.”

“ _I'm not_ … oh, never mind!” Thundercracker turned away from his trine mates. He glanced over the sealant canisters and applicators, picking them up and testing the various valves. “We need to get working. It won't take long for Megatron or Soundwave to notice we're not out there. I'd rather not be accused of ignoring him twice.”

“We shouldn't have to do anything! This is all your fault!” Skywarp yelled at the other's back.

“What?” Thundercracker turned back around. “Do you realize how many times I've been punished for something you've done? All those 'accidents' you have, who is it that gets in dragged into whatever mess you've made? Me.” He turned to Starscream. “And let's not forget our Air Commander. How many times have you passed your blunders off onto us? I don't want to hear complaints from either of you. I haven't done a fraction of the slag either of you have.”

“We know,” Skywarp agreed. “Remember? We covered that. You're boring.”

Thundercracker glared at the black and purple mech. He opened his mouth, then snapped it shut with a growl. Turning away again, he grabbed an applicator and headed for the airlock doors. Over his shoulder, he called back to them, “Move.”

The other Seekers exchanged glances. Starscream nodded Skywarp toward the tools. With a long-suffering groan, the black and purple mech walked over and scooped up the nearest canister. He tested the valves, not really paying attention. 

The nozzle blew apart.

Skywarp shrieked as sealant sprayed over his front. In a purple flash, he vanished. Surprised, Starscream launched himself into the air and bolted to the far side of the room. The Air Commander looked down at himself in disgust. Several gobs of sealant clung to his frame. By the airlock, and out of range of the sealant explosion, Thundercracker leaned against the wall.

::Skywarp! Get your worthless chassis back here!:: Starscream commanded over their comm channel. ::Your sealant tank is spewing everywhere. I'm not cleaning this up.::

::It's all over me! It's waterproof. I won't be able to wash it off! I'll have to use chemicals. My paint'll be ruined!:: Skywarp wailed.

::I don't care. Get back here!::

Another purple flash heralded Skywarp's return, near Thundercracker and well away from the leaking tank. His entire front was coated with a dark green, oily substance which slowly oozed down. He wiped his hands across the mess, succeeding only in smearing it more. “This is … awful! It's a mess! Look at me!”

Thundercracker smirked.

“How did that happen? You just checked them, right?” Skywarp asked Thundercracker. The blue mech nodded, slowly. “What happened?”

“I'm sure I don't know,” Thundercracker said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He held up a small bolt, turning it over in his fingers. “I can't imagine how the pressure regulator came off. Obviously, I had nothing to do with it. After all, I'm the boring one.”


End file.
